I get several messages each week asking how and where to meet Frot Brothers.
I wish the answer was simple and easy but from my experience, Frot Brothers tend to be more discreet and on the Down Low than their ‘out’ counterparts. Many of them wouldn’t think of using Grindr, Scruff and similar apps because to do so would force them to identify with a group with which they have nothing in common other than a fondness for cock. Most of the Frot Brothers I’ve met would rather amputate their cocks than identify with mainstream gay culture and frankly, I don’t blame them. In fact, just this week, I’ve conversed with three Frot Brothers who identify as bisexual more than gay. The self-inflected baggage of the ‘gay’ label cannot be overstated despite what mainstream gay culture insists. As an aside, the influence of Radical Feminism on mainstream gay culture is another force that is often overlooked.
I go back and forth on the value of Grindr and Scruff. I think the most important thing to remember is to be up front about what you want. I’m on a mission to educate guys that just because you are sexually attracted to other guys doesn’t automatically mean anal sex is at the center of sexual activity. The ancient Greeks frequently enjoyed male to male sexual contact without the stigma (or diseases) associated with penis-to-anus contact. When it comes to social media apps, I’m very plain-spoken about the flavor of sexual contact I find acceptable. From my experience, the ratio of anal-obsessed guys to Frot Brothers is about 4:1 in favor of the anal-obsessed. I rarely meet anyone on Grindr or Scruff that I feel is worthy of more than just an entertaining distraction from my pursuit of like-minded Bros.
I’m not saying stay away from social media apps, just know that the statistics are working against you and most of the guys on Grindr and Scroff won’t “get” you. The older I get, the more I avoid people who don’t “get” me.
If you are reading this, chances are you are either Frot Curious, a Frot Brother or some jerk off looking for something to blog about that you disagree with. If you are in the first two categories, WELCOME! I’ll try to help you the best I can.
The best way to connect with a Frot Brother is to think about yourself and how you prefer to meet other guys. If you are turned off my all the jerks and idiots on Grindr, chances are other Bros are as well.
The best way to meet like-minded Bros is to develop a friendship first. Statistically, most guys (60+%, according to Kinsey’s early research on sexual orientation) have some degree of sexual attraction to other guys. Most of them have never acted on that attraction and I believe part of the reason is a deeply held aversion to taking it up the ass or inserting their dick into another dude’s shit hole.
You really have to develop trust and a deep male bond FIRST then slowly and mutually explore non-penetrative sexual contact. You’d be amazed at the number of guys that are sexually attracted to other guys but want absolutely nothing to do with anal sex. It is that aversion to anal sex that keeps many guys from “coming out” and identifying as gay. Once you remove the fear that you want to plow a brother in the ass or put his cock in your ass, the natural sexual magnetism between two guys can and will runs its natural course.
If the first step is the establishment of a platonic, male to male bond, the second step is to establish the reality of male-to-male physical contact that doesn’t necessarily lead to either party taking it up the ass. Non-sexual touching is an important next step to establishing trust between Frot Brothers. How the relationship develops from that point is something I will write about in future post.